SO much stuff!

We have had a tremendously busy week around here. There are times when going, going, going drives me nuts, nuts, nuts but thankfully, this week wasn't one of those times. While my big sweet pea has been pokey beyond belief and that's had me frustrated, I still feel good about all that I got accomplished this week!

The most exciting thing that happened this week is that I officially became a Pampered Chef consultant yesterday! I don't have a website yet as I haven't qualified (or even had my first show, obviously!) but check out the catalog online and get a hold of me and I'll be able to help you out. You know one of the host benefits is TONS of free products, right??

Something else that I was really excited about was taking part in Simple Mom's Project Simplify. This week was kids stuff and it couldn't have come at a better time. I never decluttered toys before Christmas and was starting to think about buying new organizational products for them. Ive found that once I start considering more organization, what I really need to do is change my thinking and get rid of stuff first! So, like I said, this couldn't have come at a better time. We didn't get a ton of stuff decluttered but I was so proud of the fact that my big sweet pea was willing to help out and that she was so willing to part with toys that she and her sister don't play with anymore! Our local JBF sale is coming up very soon so I'm crossing my fingers that I can get all of these toys tagged and sold to a child who will love them as much as we have!

Here's a picture of our toy bins before...

And here's the fruits of our labor.

We also cleared out the two play drawers that the girls have in the kitchen on another day but I forgot to take a picture of them!

I'm so proud of my big girl for all of her help. Now if we could just get all of the rest of the junk cleared out of here! Patience, persistence and time, right?

Germs! Ack!

We've got a bunch of sickies running around here right now. The girls and I are sick with colds - stuffy, runny noses, sore throats... The big one had a fever which broke last night thank goodness. I hate to see my babies sick. (I know all of you parents out there can relate.) I can usually tough out a cold pretty well but since we're going on three weeks now, I figured I needed to see the doctor as well. Try taking your whole family to the doctor and see how far you get! My doctor doesn't treat kids under six. I called a new pediatrician that we were considering switching to and they won't see the girls without their records being transferred. Our regular pediatrician was out sick too so we took a family trip to the urgent care this morning. You're jealous. I know you are. Thankfully, we never have to wait for very long there but $90 and at least two prescriptions later we have returned home with a sinus infection for me, an ear infection for the little one and an upper respiratory infection for the big one. Ugh. We don't get sick a whole lot around here so it's always difficult for me to adjust to the attitudes and crankiness that come along with illness. (If I'm being honest, the attitudes and crankiness are mostly me! When I'm tired, I'm just not pleasant. It's difficult for me to admit this because I like to "be the strong one" and I used to be able to pull it off before the kids sucked all of the energy out of me!)

So, the girls are napping. My kitchen's a disaster and I'm about ready to pass out myself. I think lay down on the couch and read a book through my eyelids. With any luck, I'll wake up refreshed and ready to un-wreck this house!

Five years changed quite a lot

So, I started this blog YEARS ago... before I had kids. When I had free time. And I just came back today after getting some anonymous spam posting and figured, on a whim, to start adding stuff again. I'm looking forward to reading all of my past stuff - is it possible that I ever had time to walk 4-5 miles in a day while training for the overnight?!?! - and adding new stuff. I promise nothing, though so I may not be back for months! 

Brief catch up... I've got kids. Two of them. It's amazing to me to realize that there was a point in my life when I wasn't sure I'd end up here. Between keeping up with them and my house, I've pretty much got my hands full but I'm most likely going to be adding something else to the mix in the very near future. And NO. I am not pregnant. Much as I love my girls, I'm done. I'm too old and tired to start over at square one again.

Catch up!!

Well, as you can see, it's been FOREVER since I posted - or at least it seems like that. Summers get really busy and I probably won't be posting a whole lot but I'll try to make it more often than lately!!!

Julia and I did The overnight at the beginning of the month which was a really neat experience.

I've started acupuncture to strengthen my body for our next pregnancy. My practitioner advised waiting 3 months before trying to get pregnant again but we've already waited over 2 years (?) and neither of us want to wait anymore. I've gotten to a place where I'm not OBSESSING about being pregnant and we're almost just taking it as it comes so that's good enough for me!

We're heading out for vacation soon - Chicago and Michigan - so we're both looking forward to that.

Other than that, I've just been knitting and cleaning and trying to stay out of the oppressive heat - it's only 76 out at 9:30 a.m. but the heat index is already 82 and climbing. I'll post pictures in a week or so (hopefully!!)

It's opening day!!!

Today is opening day for a knitting yahoo group that I belong to - love2knit_dishcloths. A few times a year (is it 4?) we do an exchange and my partner this round was Judy from Indiana. Judy knit me a beautiful margarita cloth in Sugar and Creme hot green in honor of Cinco de Mayo and I just LOVE it!!! Check out the cute little knitting note card that she used to write me a note!! I just love that too!! I think this is an original pattern by Judy and I'd love to have it as soon as she's ready to share it!!

Mood: Excited! (wouldn't you be after receiving this cool cloth?!?!)
Meditation: Yoga meditation downloaded online
Yoga: 15 minutes sun salutations
Exercise: will do 4-5 miles on the treadmill 'cause it's yucky outside!
           

It's been a while!

Busy, busy, busy this past week!

Mood: content
Meditation: None today
Yoga: None today
Exercise: 3 miles (training for the overnight!)
           

I went to see a 'spiritual adviser' on Friday with my sister-in-law and one of her friends. We had scheduled this awhile ago so it's really quite a coincidence that I've had so many readings in the past month!! The reading was mostly vague - we'll be going on vacations and to weddings. But she WAS specific about a few things like a cup of coffee that I would be getting with 'fancy (read: decorative) cream'. Then it dawned on me that I take my coffee black. Also, a 21 or 22 year-old will get pregnant from improper birth control use and the man will NOT be happy about it because he thought birth control was being taken care of.

We had a wedding to go to on Saturday which was really lovely! The weather has been beautiful lately and I've been pretty much keeping on schedule with my walking. This week will consist of:
Monday - 3 miles
Tuesday - 4-5 miles
Wednesday - crosstraining
Thursday - 4 miles
Friday - 3 miles
Saturday - 10 miles

Saturday's going to be tough since we're going to the Ride for Life and I have a feeling we'll be leaving early in the morning. I may have to either walk in the afternoon or try for Sunday.

Tomorrow we're going to a pet parade at my nephew's school (leaving Winston at home because I just don't trust him around kids yet) which I'm really looking forward to!! And then I'm going out to dinner at Black Dog Cafe for dinner on Wednesday with the Ladies of Harley!! I really love going out to dinner with all these different people because I have such a good time but I really need to start sticking to my plan of ordering salads or I'm never going to lose this stupid weight!!!

Another quick update

Mood: Tired!
Meditation: Satyam Meditation from Life Enhancing Meditations by Yogiraj Alan Finger
Yoga: None - not feeling up to it today
Exercise: none so far

I'm REALLY tired this morning - I don't think my body's used to all this exercise!!! I've also been having some really bad gas pains (I know, TMI but you chose to read!) since last night which seem to be subsiding but the combination has left me feeling like doing nothing other than laying on the couch! Unfortunately, I've got things to do today so I can't just lay around . Oh well, I'll just get stuff done as soon as I can so I can nap when I get home! Off to my appointments...

Quick Post!

Mood: Busy but happy!
Meditation: Meditations for Conception and Pregnancy
Yoga: None - didn't have time!
Exercise: 4.5 mile walk (training for the overnight)

Wow! That walk just KILLED me!!! The route I mapped out was very nice in the beginning but about half-way through, it goes STRAIGHT UP. I suppose it's good training and a great way to get back in shape but if I could've lifted my leg high enough after all of the exertion, I would've kicked myself squarely in the ass! I won't be doing that loop again for a LONG while.

We went to my nephew's baseball game tonight - they tied 10-10 - which was really nice! Tomorrow'll probably be another busy day so maybe only another short update.

Another Monday and full of focus!

Mood: Peaceful!
Meditation: Chakra Bhedana Meditation from Life Enhancing Meditations by Yogiraj Alan Finger
Yoga: 15 minutes sun salutations
Exercise: 3 mile walk (training for the overnight)

I've got to run and get dinner going. Hope to be able to post more later but who knows!!

Pet day!!!

I took some cute pictures of the pets recently! I've got a really cute one of Winston carrying two toys at once but flickr's being a bear so I'll have to work on posting that one later. We just had Eddie shaved yesterday so there's a picture of her before and after!!

Eddie before her shave




Eddie this morning. She looks pretty pissed off, doesn't she!!

Inspiring E-mail

I received an e-mail from Pam at MindBody Studio where I occasionally practice yoga and it was very uplifting and resonated with me. I'm not sure what struggles Pam is going through but I will be sending her all the healing and loving energy I can whenever I think of her. Anyway, as I said, this e-mail resonated with me and I felt a need to post it.

Spring; A time of renewal

New buds forming on the trees, spring bulbs bursting into color, the rain-soaked days, are all reminders that the earth is in a process of renewing itself once again. As we welcome this time of year as a time of renewal, ask yourself, do you have a process that allows you to renew yourself?

For those of us who have a continuous practice, we know just how valuable it is to be able to cleanse the body of toxins and deep seated tension, to rid the mind of old ways of thinking, and to melt down the walls of resistance that keep us from from living from our light.

If you have yet to get started, but have been thinking about it, there is no better time than now. Our Beginner classes are on-going classes held every Tuesday and Thursday evenings from 7:30 - 8:45. Please feel free to join us at any time. We look forward to meeting you and supporting you as you develop your process.

A Heart-felt 'Thank-you'


I would like to express my gratitude to all you for your support and words of encouragement during this challenging time in my life. It's times like this that I am extremely grateful for my practice.

While we cannot always control the events or circumstances in our life, we do have control over how we choose to deal with them. From a yoga perspective, we view these challenges as opportunities for growth. It is during times like these that we stop in our tracks, re-evaluate our life, and continue to realign ourselves with the things that are most meaningful to us.

As I prepare for my journey ahead, I feel blessed to be a part of this amazing yoga 'kula' (community). The energy and love has carried me through the stormy days and continues to light my way. Each day is a new opportunity to step into the flow of Grace. Grace is a gift, and that gift is life. Deepening my connections to those around me and the things that are most meaningful to me is a way to embrace this gift of life.

"The winds of grace are blowing all the time,
all we need do is set our sail."

Many Blessings!

The rollercoaster ride continues...

... be sure to keep your hands inside the train as it exits the station

I found out on Saturday morning that another friend of mine is pregnant. My initial reaction was anger which quickly passed and turned to pity, sadness, loss, depression. Thankfully, the spiritual fair was that day so I had 2 different readings and am feeling much better. Everyone keeps telling me that we're going to have two children (One of which was standing next to me during my first reading. That just made me feel so much more calm and peaceful.) so I have focused on being more peaceful and mindful and following the path that has been set out for me and knowing that in its own time, my life will fall into place in the manner in which it is supposed to. I really am very happy for my friend and I know she'll be a really fun mom!!! And it's not like we're REALLY close so I won't be constantly confronted with her pregnancy - I know at times it will still remind me of everything that I've lost so it will still be difficult at times.

So any of my friends who are reading this are probably thinking that I've gone off the deep end with this new age crap but I need something in my life to give me guidance and direction. I can only depend on myself blindly for so long and then I need some other insight. I had a numerology reading done at Stokesay as well and it was pretty amazing. I'm still very skeptical of people (one of my challenges - too funny!) and sometimes feel like they're just telling me what I want to hear but they all pretty much keep telling me the same thing - that I've a very strong person (duh.), and that I'm very psychic and am now on the right path (or making the right choices, etc. - the language varies but it's usually the same message). So, I'm going to continue to trust my instincts - about EVERYTHING - and do what I can to listen to myself (Does anybody remember the scene in Best in Show where the blond says she's waiting for another message from herself!!! I feel sort of like that - an idiot listening to another idiot!)

Throughout this period of depression, self pity, whatever you want to call it, I haven't been writing - journaling, yes but the book has taken a back seat. I'm going to make it a priority now so there may not be more than a weekly update post while I readjust my routines and priorities.

I've signed up for the motorcycle safety course and begin it on May 7 - Chris' birthday!! I'm looking forward to learning something new and I'm hoping that this summer may end up being a summer or Chris and I riding together! I smile every time I think about the two of us heading out for a scenic ride (on separate bikes for a change) on those days when nothing's going on!!

The Spa at Hershey was wonderful although we were at a friend's house on Saturday night and I had entirely too much to drink (surprise, surprise - my numerology reading warned of excess!!!) and my head was aching for some of the day. There were 14 ladies of harley there and we had a really nice time!!!

Ok... Off to plan the day. I hope you all had a wonderful weekend and will have a wonderful week as well! And did I mention that I woke up to snow on the ground this morning. It was just a dusting and I think it's just about all gone by now but that really was a shocker!!! It is April, right?

Winston and the Easter Bunny

Winston and the Easter Bunny
Originally uploaded by kristamks.

Winston got his picture taken with the Easter Bunny this year at PetExpress! (This picture was actually taken on 4/7 but I just got around to scanning it with my NEW SCANNER!!!!) He was a complete ass after his picture and snapped at another (way mellow) dog so we had to leave the store quickly. Guess I need to work more on his anti-aggressiveness training! Good Dog U website, here we come!

Motorcycles, MP530, Meat and Mettings!

What a day!! Yesterday I was feeling really good - perhaps the best I have in a week. Still tired but emotionally quite stable and today was almost as good!

I started off my day by purchasing a new Canon Pixma MP530 all-in-one printer that I'm enjoying so far! Then, I decided to go over to the DMV and get my motorcycle permit. I've been toying with the idea of getting my license since my miscarriage last January (2006) and was looking at the motorcycle safety program again the other day. In order to take the course, you have to have your permit and the permit is good for a year. I'm still not sure if I'm going to take the course or not but at least if I decide on a whim that I want to, I'm ready to go!! It made me feel very empowered to walk out of there with my permit! I guess it kind of makes me feel like I may be getting my life back to normal - whatever the hell that is!!

Then, I went to the meat sale at my local grocery store! This may sound like a really ridiculous thing to be excited about but Chris got me a foodsaver for Christmas and I just LOVE to use the thing and the meat sale gives me a great excuse to do so! So, I ended up spending $156 on groceries yesterday!!! BUT, I've got enough pork tenderloin, sirloins, fillets, frying chickens, smoked turkey sausage and whole chicken leg pieces to last me for a least 4 months (or one big party!!!)!

Tonight was also the HOG (Harley Owners Group) meeting which we always enjoy. They have a 'pig pot' where all of the members present put in a dollar and a name is drawn. If the person whose name is drawn is at the meeting and has put their dollar in, they win the money. The pot is up to a TON of money after not being won in over a year so we always go hoping to hit it - that'll be my new computer!! - but no luck last night an it will carry over to next month! Fingers crossed!!!

Tomorrow, I'm supposed to be going out to lunch with my friend Julia who lives in Harrisburg but I haven't heard from her about it!! I hope she's still planning on coming because I'm really looking forward to it!

On Saturday, there is a Spiritual and Holistic Fair at a local 'resort' that I'm going to and on Sunday it's off to the Spa at Hershey with the Ladies of Harley!!!! I'm REALLY looking forward to that!! I'm getting the body coffee polish and 35 minutes of reflexology as well a lunch with the ladies! I was hoping to take a meditation class as well but they only have Pilates and Body Muscle (whatever that is!) on Sundays. I guess I'll just have to sit in the silent room and meditate by myself! Nothing wrong with that.

Off to bed now! For lots and lots of sleep to give my body the rest that it needs. I've been very achy over the last week which, I'm sure, has something to do with my mood. Hopefully, I'm on the upswing now.

Another Appointment Update

Well, our doctor didn't say a whole lot new yesterday. We're going to re-run the tests that were 'abnormal' (the ANA and homocystine) and see what they say. He's upped my folic acid to a total of 4 mg per day and now we just have to wait one period and try again. I was going to have the testing done this morning but when I reviewed the lab slip, I realized that the homocystine was a 6-8 hour fast and I had just had breakfast. If I were to start the fast then, all of the labs would've been closed by the time I could've had the blood drawn so I'll go tomorrow morning.

I'm still trying to get myself back in order. I'm still spotting which is driving me crazy.I had every intention of going out for a walk today but just don't have the energy quite yet. Perhaps tomorrow will be better. I did get out in the garden a bit and ran Winston up and down the driveway so at least I was outside!! I didn't sleep well last night so I'm sure that doesn't help my energy level!

Anyway... Winston and I need to go get the mail so I'm off to do that. I'm sure I'll update once I receive the results of the blood work.

Lazy Monday

This weekend was very up and down for me. I spent Saturday morning getting the house ready for Easter and by the time Chris came home from 'work', I was tired. Having busied myself all week with Easter preparations, I kept my mind off of everything else going on in my life and by Saturday afternoon, with little left to do or think about, I ended up feeling very down. Friends were going out to the bar so we decided to go as well. We decided this earlier in the afternoon and when I was time to get ready, I really wasn't feeling up to it but got showered and dressed in my most cuddly sweater in case I needed its support! I felt like everyone was staring at me when we first got there but I eased up and ended up having a really nice time. Of course, everybody knows that I've had yet another miscarriage and I did a pretty good job of telling people that I didn't want to talk about it if I didn't. (That's real progress for me!) I drank too much, of course (I started lent a day late and figured I'd end it a day early too) and stayed too long but I'm glad that we went. Friends from Chicago were there and it's always nice to get to catch up with them. Especially since they were only here for a week this trip!

Yesterday was a wonderful day! I didn't go to church because, really, I'd rather go on the 'off' weeks when it's not so crowded!! I haven't been in weeks and a feel a bit guilty about it but I will be going back soon. I think this week starts my attempt to get back to my normal life again - gym, church, walking, etc...

But anyway, Easter was wonderful! We had 10 for dinner - all Chris' family since I don't really have any. I did a photo scavenger Easter egg hunt for his 10-year-old nephew which I thought was a lot of fun!! I hid the eggs *in* things and then took a picture of part of them (the knob from a drawer, handle from a basket, etc) and had him find them that way. It kept him busy for almost an hour!!! When he wasn't occupied by that, he and Winston were outside playing which is great because as soon as everyone left, Winston was asleep and he's still tired today! There's nothing I love more than a tired, cuddly puppy!!

My mother-in-law made the ham and scalloped potatoes; sister-in-law brought mushrooms, corn, brussel sprouts and rolls; grandmom brought fruit salad; Aunt Gayle brought (Panera!) bread and wine and I made tomato pudding, Waldorf salad, green salad, strawberry pretzel salad for dessert and I got a bunny-shaped ice cream cake from Carvel! Yummy!!!

Tomato pudding is something that my father made at every holiday meal and I just came across his recipe a few months ago as I was going through some of his cookbooks. His recipe is very similar to this recipe except that it doesn't use the tomatoes, just the sauce. I used to request this all the time but haven't had it since I was a kid so I took a chance and made it and hoped that I still liked it! Well, I did and so did everybody else! I think that may become a staple for holidays for me, too!

We ate at 3:00 and people actually stayed till almost 7:00!! Normally, that would sound a bit overwhelming but I was really glad to have the opportunity to just hang out with everybody and spend some time with people that we don't see often.

We've got an appointment with Dr. West this afternoon at 2:30. I've *almost* stopped bleeding finally (20 days is ENOUGH already!!!). I'm sort of anxious to hear what he has to say but I'm really afraid that at this point we're onto an IVF discussion which is someplace that I really don't want to be.

Anyway, I'm off to the front room to take the leaves out of the table and perhaps move it back into the dining room. I'll update about our doctor's appointment later.

5th miscarriage official

Well, it's official. I have now had my 5th miscarriage. I am so tired of feeling so completely and utterly defective that it's not funny. There are women out there drinking through their pregnancies, taking drugs through their pregnancies and they get blessed with perfectly healthy babies. I am doing EVERYTHING in my power to keep myself healthy for my babies and I never even get to hold any of them. To say I'm frustrated is an understatement. Why is this so difficult? And why does everyone else get it so easy? I know that life isn't fair to anyone but come on. Isn't this getting a little ridiculous?

here we go again

The cramping started about 45 minutes ago - just in time for my ob's office to be closed. I'm not hopeful that things will be ok but I'll call them in the morning to see if I can get in for an u/s. The way the cramping and bleeding are going, I doubt there will be anything to see tomorrow but I'll post anyway.

Nervous morning...

My temperature dropped this morning and I'm really nervous about it. I know that you're not supposed to keep temping once you're pregnant but one of my (very early) miscarriages was heralded by a temperature drop and ever since then, I just continue even if I get a positive. I guess that's probably not a good idea since one temp can make me think the worst! Anyway... I just have to keep telling myself that it's just one temperature (even though it's the lowest one yet) and hope that it goes up tomorrow = (



Like I said, I'm still charting and I realized that without my fertilityfriend ticker, you have no way of checking out my chart if you want! So here's the link to my FertilityFriend page. I did a pretty good job of taking it easy yesterday. I may have done a bit too much but not WAY too much!! As I was laying on the couch resting yesterday afternoon, I resisted the urge to get up and do things and instead started making a list of them!! Last night after we got home from the club meeting, I did a few of the easier ones and enlisted Chris' help for a few of the others. If we keep up that pace, the list will be done before we know it! I think this may be a technique that I continue to employ even when I don't have to take it easy!

So, that's about it! I lead a very boring life right now. My mind is focused on getting this pregnancy through the next 2 weeks and giving my body what it needs which, right now, might be a nap!

Back to the grind... Monday, Monday!

Well, the spotting is definitely stopping! Woo Hoo!

I got my three things accomplished that I wanted to do yesterday: make dinner (the lamb was very yummy!!), cut up my pineapple (which I'm having as part of a nutritionally balanced breakfast right now!) and I folded the laundry. I was pretty good at balancing rest and 'routine' but there isn't' much of a routine for Sundays!!! Today will be the real test. With Easter coming up and us having dinner here, will I be able to balance all of the things I have to do with not over doing it? Will I be able to organize myself well enough so as not to be completely rushed, run down, and overdoing it by Friday? Stay tuned to find out

Since I won't be doing any more running for the foreseeable future, I've decided to take down the running widget from my sidebar. Just in case I need it again in the future, though, I'm pasting the code here so I don't lose it in my computer! (It doesn't show up but at least I know it's here if I need it!!)


And now without any further ado, I'm off to plan my day!