Another Monday and full of focus!

Mood: Peaceful!
Meditation: Chakra Bhedana Meditation from Life Enhancing Meditations by Yogiraj Alan Finger
Yoga: 15 minutes sun salutations
Exercise: 3 mile walk (training for the overnight)

I've got to run and get dinner going. Hope to be able to post more later but who knows!!

Pet day!!!

I took some cute pictures of the pets recently! I've got a really cute one of Winston carrying two toys at once but flickr's being a bear so I'll have to work on posting that one later. We just had Eddie shaved yesterday so there's a picture of her before and after!!

Eddie before her shave




Eddie this morning. She looks pretty pissed off, doesn't she!!

Inspiring E-mail

I received an e-mail from Pam at MindBody Studio where I occasionally practice yoga and it was very uplifting and resonated with me. I'm not sure what struggles Pam is going through but I will be sending her all the healing and loving energy I can whenever I think of her. Anyway, as I said, this e-mail resonated with me and I felt a need to post it.

Spring; A time of renewal

New buds forming on the trees, spring bulbs bursting into color, the rain-soaked days, are all reminders that the earth is in a process of renewing itself once again. As we welcome this time of year as a time of renewal, ask yourself, do you have a process that allows you to renew yourself?

For those of us who have a continuous practice, we know just how valuable it is to be able to cleanse the body of toxins and deep seated tension, to rid the mind of old ways of thinking, and to melt down the walls of resistance that keep us from from living from our light.

If you have yet to get started, but have been thinking about it, there is no better time than now. Our Beginner classes are on-going classes held every Tuesday and Thursday evenings from 7:30 - 8:45. Please feel free to join us at any time. We look forward to meeting you and supporting you as you develop your process.

A Heart-felt 'Thank-you'


I would like to express my gratitude to all you for your support and words of encouragement during this challenging time in my life. It's times like this that I am extremely grateful for my practice.

While we cannot always control the events or circumstances in our life, we do have control over how we choose to deal with them. From a yoga perspective, we view these challenges as opportunities for growth. It is during times like these that we stop in our tracks, re-evaluate our life, and continue to realign ourselves with the things that are most meaningful to us.

As I prepare for my journey ahead, I feel blessed to be a part of this amazing yoga 'kula' (community). The energy and love has carried me through the stormy days and continues to light my way. Each day is a new opportunity to step into the flow of Grace. Grace is a gift, and that gift is life. Deepening my connections to those around me and the things that are most meaningful to me is a way to embrace this gift of life.

"The winds of grace are blowing all the time,
all we need do is set our sail."

Many Blessings!

The rollercoaster ride continues...

... be sure to keep your hands inside the train as it exits the station

I found out on Saturday morning that another friend of mine is pregnant. My initial reaction was anger which quickly passed and turned to pity, sadness, loss, depression. Thankfully, the spiritual fair was that day so I had 2 different readings and am feeling much better. Everyone keeps telling me that we're going to have two children (One of which was standing next to me during my first reading. That just made me feel so much more calm and peaceful.) so I have focused on being more peaceful and mindful and following the path that has been set out for me and knowing that in its own time, my life will fall into place in the manner in which it is supposed to. I really am very happy for my friend and I know she'll be a really fun mom!!! And it's not like we're REALLY close so I won't be constantly confronted with her pregnancy - I know at times it will still remind me of everything that I've lost so it will still be difficult at times.

So any of my friends who are reading this are probably thinking that I've gone off the deep end with this new age crap but I need something in my life to give me guidance and direction. I can only depend on myself blindly for so long and then I need some other insight. I had a numerology reading done at Stokesay as well and it was pretty amazing. I'm still very skeptical of people (one of my challenges - too funny!) and sometimes feel like they're just telling me what I want to hear but they all pretty much keep telling me the same thing - that I've a very strong person (duh.), and that I'm very psychic and am now on the right path (or making the right choices, etc. - the language varies but it's usually the same message). So, I'm going to continue to trust my instincts - about EVERYTHING - and do what I can to listen to myself (Does anybody remember the scene in Best in Show where the blond says she's waiting for another message from herself!!! I feel sort of like that - an idiot listening to another idiot!)

Throughout this period of depression, self pity, whatever you want to call it, I haven't been writing - journaling, yes but the book has taken a back seat. I'm going to make it a priority now so there may not be more than a weekly update post while I readjust my routines and priorities.

I've signed up for the motorcycle safety course and begin it on May 7 - Chris' birthday!! I'm looking forward to learning something new and I'm hoping that this summer may end up being a summer or Chris and I riding together! I smile every time I think about the two of us heading out for a scenic ride (on separate bikes for a change) on those days when nothing's going on!!

The Spa at Hershey was wonderful although we were at a friend's house on Saturday night and I had entirely too much to drink (surprise, surprise - my numerology reading warned of excess!!!) and my head was aching for some of the day. There were 14 ladies of harley there and we had a really nice time!!!

Ok... Off to plan the day. I hope you all had a wonderful weekend and will have a wonderful week as well! And did I mention that I woke up to snow on the ground this morning. It was just a dusting and I think it's just about all gone by now but that really was a shocker!!! It is April, right?

Winston and the Easter Bunny

Winston and the Easter Bunny
Originally uploaded by kristamks.

Winston got his picture taken with the Easter Bunny this year at PetExpress! (This picture was actually taken on 4/7 but I just got around to scanning it with my NEW SCANNER!!!!) He was a complete ass after his picture and snapped at another (way mellow) dog so we had to leave the store quickly. Guess I need to work more on his anti-aggressiveness training! Good Dog U website, here we come!

Motorcycles, MP530, Meat and Mettings!

What a day!! Yesterday I was feeling really good - perhaps the best I have in a week. Still tired but emotionally quite stable and today was almost as good!

I started off my day by purchasing a new Canon Pixma MP530 all-in-one printer that I'm enjoying so far! Then, I decided to go over to the DMV and get my motorcycle permit. I've been toying with the idea of getting my license since my miscarriage last January (2006) and was looking at the motorcycle safety program again the other day. In order to take the course, you have to have your permit and the permit is good for a year. I'm still not sure if I'm going to take the course or not but at least if I decide on a whim that I want to, I'm ready to go!! It made me feel very empowered to walk out of there with my permit! I guess it kind of makes me feel like I may be getting my life back to normal - whatever the hell that is!!

Then, I went to the meat sale at my local grocery store! This may sound like a really ridiculous thing to be excited about but Chris got me a foodsaver for Christmas and I just LOVE to use the thing and the meat sale gives me a great excuse to do so! So, I ended up spending $156 on groceries yesterday!!! BUT, I've got enough pork tenderloin, sirloins, fillets, frying chickens, smoked turkey sausage and whole chicken leg pieces to last me for a least 4 months (or one big party!!!)!

Tonight was also the HOG (Harley Owners Group) meeting which we always enjoy. They have a 'pig pot' where all of the members present put in a dollar and a name is drawn. If the person whose name is drawn is at the meeting and has put their dollar in, they win the money. The pot is up to a TON of money after not being won in over a year so we always go hoping to hit it - that'll be my new computer!! - but no luck last night an it will carry over to next month! Fingers crossed!!!

Tomorrow, I'm supposed to be going out to lunch with my friend Julia who lives in Harrisburg but I haven't heard from her about it!! I hope she's still planning on coming because I'm really looking forward to it!

On Saturday, there is a Spiritual and Holistic Fair at a local 'resort' that I'm going to and on Sunday it's off to the Spa at Hershey with the Ladies of Harley!!!! I'm REALLY looking forward to that!! I'm getting the body coffee polish and 35 minutes of reflexology as well a lunch with the ladies! I was hoping to take a meditation class as well but they only have Pilates and Body Muscle (whatever that is!) on Sundays. I guess I'll just have to sit in the silent room and meditate by myself! Nothing wrong with that.

Off to bed now! For lots and lots of sleep to give my body the rest that it needs. I've been very achy over the last week which, I'm sure, has something to do with my mood. Hopefully, I'm on the upswing now.

Another Appointment Update

Well, our doctor didn't say a whole lot new yesterday. We're going to re-run the tests that were 'abnormal' (the ANA and homocystine) and see what they say. He's upped my folic acid to a total of 4 mg per day and now we just have to wait one period and try again. I was going to have the testing done this morning but when I reviewed the lab slip, I realized that the homocystine was a 6-8 hour fast and I had just had breakfast. If I were to start the fast then, all of the labs would've been closed by the time I could've had the blood drawn so I'll go tomorrow morning.

I'm still trying to get myself back in order. I'm still spotting which is driving me crazy.I had every intention of going out for a walk today but just don't have the energy quite yet. Perhaps tomorrow will be better. I did get out in the garden a bit and ran Winston up and down the driveway so at least I was outside!! I didn't sleep well last night so I'm sure that doesn't help my energy level!

Anyway... Winston and I need to go get the mail so I'm off to do that. I'm sure I'll update once I receive the results of the blood work.

Lazy Monday

This weekend was very up and down for me. I spent Saturday morning getting the house ready for Easter and by the time Chris came home from 'work', I was tired. Having busied myself all week with Easter preparations, I kept my mind off of everything else going on in my life and by Saturday afternoon, with little left to do or think about, I ended up feeling very down. Friends were going out to the bar so we decided to go as well. We decided this earlier in the afternoon and when I was time to get ready, I really wasn't feeling up to it but got showered and dressed in my most cuddly sweater in case I needed its support! I felt like everyone was staring at me when we first got there but I eased up and ended up having a really nice time. Of course, everybody knows that I've had yet another miscarriage and I did a pretty good job of telling people that I didn't want to talk about it if I didn't. (That's real progress for me!) I drank too much, of course (I started lent a day late and figured I'd end it a day early too) and stayed too long but I'm glad that we went. Friends from Chicago were there and it's always nice to get to catch up with them. Especially since they were only here for a week this trip!

Yesterday was a wonderful day! I didn't go to church because, really, I'd rather go on the 'off' weeks when it's not so crowded!! I haven't been in weeks and a feel a bit guilty about it but I will be going back soon. I think this week starts my attempt to get back to my normal life again - gym, church, walking, etc...

But anyway, Easter was wonderful! We had 10 for dinner - all Chris' family since I don't really have any. I did a photo scavenger Easter egg hunt for his 10-year-old nephew which I thought was a lot of fun!! I hid the eggs *in* things and then took a picture of part of them (the knob from a drawer, handle from a basket, etc) and had him find them that way. It kept him busy for almost an hour!!! When he wasn't occupied by that, he and Winston were outside playing which is great because as soon as everyone left, Winston was asleep and he's still tired today! There's nothing I love more than a tired, cuddly puppy!!

My mother-in-law made the ham and scalloped potatoes; sister-in-law brought mushrooms, corn, brussel sprouts and rolls; grandmom brought fruit salad; Aunt Gayle brought (Panera!) bread and wine and I made tomato pudding, Waldorf salad, green salad, strawberry pretzel salad for dessert and I got a bunny-shaped ice cream cake from Carvel! Yummy!!!

Tomato pudding is something that my father made at every holiday meal and I just came across his recipe a few months ago as I was going through some of his cookbooks. His recipe is very similar to this recipe except that it doesn't use the tomatoes, just the sauce. I used to request this all the time but haven't had it since I was a kid so I took a chance and made it and hoped that I still liked it! Well, I did and so did everybody else! I think that may become a staple for holidays for me, too!

We ate at 3:00 and people actually stayed till almost 7:00!! Normally, that would sound a bit overwhelming but I was really glad to have the opportunity to just hang out with everybody and spend some time with people that we don't see often.

We've got an appointment with Dr. West this afternoon at 2:30. I've *almost* stopped bleeding finally (20 days is ENOUGH already!!!). I'm sort of anxious to hear what he has to say but I'm really afraid that at this point we're onto an IVF discussion which is someplace that I really don't want to be.

Anyway, I'm off to the front room to take the leaves out of the table and perhaps move it back into the dining room. I'll update about our doctor's appointment later.