I found out on Saturday morning that another friend of mine is pregnant. My initial reaction was anger which quickly passed and turned to pity, sadness, loss, depression. Thankfully, the spiritual fair was that day so I had 2 different readings and am feeling much better. Everyone keeps telling me that we're going to have two children (One of which was standing next to me during my first reading. That just made me feel so much more calm and peaceful.) so I have focused on being more peaceful and mindful and following the path that has been set out for me and knowing that in its own time, my life will fall into place in the manner in which it is supposed to. I really am very happy for my friend and I know she'll be a really fun mom!!! And it's not like we're REALLY close so I won't be constantly confronted with her pregnancy - I know at times it will still remind me of everything that I've lost so it will still be difficult at times.
So any of my friends who are reading this are probably thinking that I've gone off the deep end with this new age crap but I need something in my life to give me guidance and direction. I can only depend on myself blindly for so long and then I need some other insight. I had a numerology reading done at Stokesay as well and it was pretty amazing. I'm still very skeptical of people (one of my challenges - too funny!) and sometimes feel like they're just telling me what I want to hear but they all pretty much keep telling me the same thing - that I've a very strong person (duh.), and that I'm very psychic and am now on the right path (or making the right choices, etc. - the language varies but it's usually the same message). So, I'm going to continue to trust my instincts - about EVERYTHING - and do what I can to listen to myself (Does anybody remember the scene in Best in Show where the blond says she's waiting for another message from herself!!! I feel sort of like that - an idiot listening to another idiot!)
Throughout this period of depression, self pity, whatever you want to call it, I haven't been writing - journaling, yes but the book has taken a back seat. I'm going to make it a priority now so there may not be more than a weekly update post while I readjust my routines and priorities.
I've signed up for the motorcycle safety course and begin it on May 7 - Chris' birthday!! I'm looking forward to learning something new and I'm hoping that this summer may end up being a summer or Chris and I riding together! I smile every time I think about the two of us heading out for a scenic ride (on separate bikes for a change) on those days when nothing's going on!!
The Spa at Hershey was wonderful although we were at a friend's house on Saturday night and I had entirely too much to drink (surprise, surprise - my numerology reading warned of excess!!!) and my head was aching for some of the day. There were 14 ladies of harley there and we had a really nice time!!!
Ok... Off to plan the day. I hope you all had a wonderful weekend and will have a wonderful week as well! And did I mention that I woke up to snow on the ground this morning. It was just a dusting and I think it's just about all gone by now but that really was a shocker!!! It is April, right?
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